As You Are is not a Lesbian bar, it is a “Queer Safe Space Built With Love,” with a cafe downstairs and an upstairs bar and dance lounge. Why am I including them on my great Lesbian bar road trip then? Because I make the rules and I wanted to go, that’s why. It’s also important to note that AYA is following an increasing trend in queer spaces, that is to say, using the word “queer” instead of gay or lesbian or even trans to indicate a wider range of inclusivity and dedication to social change. 

AYA is the kind of space I hope to build someday, not the least of which because I am both a coffee nerd and a cocktail nerd, and the idea of a gay space that enables both of my obsessions is incredibly appealing to me. 

The cafe space is airy and bright, and I appreciate the earlier hours, partly because I needed to still write my piece from the night before. Exposed brick and raw wooden floors compliment Edison bulbs, and the establishment’s standards of behavior grace the walls. The crowd is incredibly Queer and diverse; a group of grad students work on laptops and discuss gender studies theses, people play dice games, or just grab a bite and catch up with friends. Masks are still required when not eating or drinking, and the staff tests daily. 

The downstairs space is all ages, providing a refuge for queer youth and families to be themselves in an accepting space, and this is taken full advantage of. If I knew I were queer in high school, this would have been where I wanted to hang out after class instead of haunting the local Starbucks. This space allows people to feel seen and show up with all of themselves, saving lives “just by opening our doors.”

Upstairs, the bar and lounge area reminds me of a black box theatre, dark with tall ceilings, black paint, and velvet curtains. The second floor is also split into two spaces, the other half is a quieter space with couches and queer art for sale on the walls. 

I track down Coach, one half of the ownership team, and we talk for almost an hour. Coach and their partner Jo were part of the opening team for A League of Her Own, DC’s Lesbian bar, as head of security and general manager respectively. Coach tells me that the two of them fell into step almost immediately running the bar together. The pair learned a lot at ALOHO, and are grateful for the experience, but things changed, or perhaps just came to a head, during the pandemic. 

I am struggling with how much of these stories I want to relay, frankly, I don’t think it’s my place. I am not a journalist, just a queer on a road trip. Many of these missteps and issues with ALOHO are well documented, and while they are not secrets, this piece is about AYA, not ALOHO. Coach also emphasizes that they are not in competition with A League of Her Own, they would love for the community to have multiple options and spaces to be themselves, but they also believe in holding their community accountable. 

Suffice it to say, there were a lot of allegations against ALOHO and the owner specifically detailing racist and transphobic actions towards patrons and employees, and attempts to explain these wrongs and create a safer space were not listened to or enacted. The final straw was a horribly offensive meme created by the owner and posted to ALOHO’s Facebook page, involving the January 6th insurrection and a trans community member. 

Jo and Coach were officially out of ALOHO by February 2021. The two had been talking about creating a space together since 2019 and began AYA with virtual community gatherings including a nationwide chat with Coach, weekly Instagram Live sessions, and virtual DJ shows. By October 2021, they secured their space on 8th St in Barracks Row, once upon a time called “The Gay Way.” As You Are opened to the public in March 2022.

Coach tells me that this building has continuously been occupied by queer establishments, except for one, since 1949. Karaoke night at AYA is called “Johnnie and Jorge’s” to honor the owners of gay singing and piano clubs that used to occupy the space. 

AYA is not a space built for the community, it is built with the community. Upstairs programming is designed by community members, and they encourage people to reach out with what they want to see. Events include karaoke, King-focused drag, bingo nights, book readings, DJ sets, and this week, even a meet and greet with members of Washington Prodigy football, a women’s full-contact football team.

Speaking of karaoke, AYA’s karaoke is excellent, full of queer joy and celebration, the crowd screams lyrics and dances along. My prayers are finally answered for some Disney when a heartfelt rendition of “A Part of Your World” comes on, which I’m just now realizing is a super gay song. Singers are performing, embracing their voice cracks and lyric missteps with pride and laughter. 

You feel inclusivity running through the veins of this place, the crowd is visibly trans, BIPOC, disabled, and class-diverse. More people wear masks than I saw on the NYC subways. Throughout my conversation with Coach, they greeted every unhoused person who walked through the doors by name and told me who came in for a Coke seven times a day, who they tease about never drinking water, and who likes to sit and play card games. 

As You Are prioritizes the most marginalized of their patrons and community, under the idea that “if they’re safe, then everyone is safe.” This includes free meals for unhoused comrades, no questions asked, and a dedication to listening to call-ins and responding immediately. They also staff the space intentionally, recruiting directly from organizations such as The Wanda Alston Foundation and SMYAL, both focused on empowering LGBTQ+ youth.

Capitol Hill has become whiter and richer over the years, but AYA is fighting for its place at the table, and are thrilled at other queer businesses opening up in this historic gay neighborhood. 

“We’re still here and we deserve a place to be safe. It is our space as much as it is there and we’re elbowing people to make space and take it back.” 

Zed, the bartender upstairs, calls me baby and we know how much that gets me. What gets me even more is their absolutely heartbreaking rendition of Hozier’s “Take Me to Church.” When they get up to sing, the DJ implores, “Everyone says ‘Hi Zed!’” and is met with a resounding “HI ZED!”

Coach introduces me to some of their friends who are here tonight, and we dance to karaoke Katy Perry and Smash Mouth. This is the kind of bar where the bartender will introduce newcomers to regulars, and making friends is encouraged. 

As You Are has big dreams, not limited to merely bringing back The Gay Way. Coach tells me of a dream they have of empowering other hopeful business owners across the country, and franchising As You Are to create a network of queer spaces nationwide. As soon as I mentioned that my motivation for this road trip is to gather information for my own Queer bar one day, Coach immediately offers to help me in anyway they can, even offering advice around business licenses. They have already been in contact with three other up-and-coming queer establisments and are happy to tell them anything they want to know about running their space. 

They know the power of a name and a reputation and want to use that privilege to help other queer businesses as much as they can. Queer spaces are closing at almost the same rate they’re opening, including Phase One, a Lesbian bar in DC that closed in 2016, once the longest operating Lesbian bar in the country. 

“We need places to open and we need them to last.”

Short Sleeved Patterned Button Downs: countless 

Washington, DC